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the beginning (end) (idk) of an era

What’s great is that I want to be a writer and I don’t want anyone to read any of it. Which is why tumblr is perfect. Which, I know you’re going to read it anyway. Which, is kind of the point.
Today is strangely about loss and some very very small gains (wine, pizza, candy). 
Some days - you just wake up and everything turns to shit. Not only is there literally shit on the floor (thanks Cous) but there’s no more coffee, rent needs to be paid and you need a dress for your fathers third wedding. The sun may be shinning but it’s way too fucking bright over here.
For starters Joey is dead. Blunt, but true. And it’s boredom that makes it real for me. Now now, Joey (Poppy) was my favorite old man slash best friend slash grandfather. A man of many words and even more laughs. His greatest and only joy was his family (his 17, 19 grandchildren - I don’t feel like counting). Just the fact that you were living, breathing, walking, whatever, just the fact that you shared his blood, literally the absolute minimum was enough to send him on a hour long stint with a stranger on how, even though he forgets my name, my hair is very real. “That thing it does,” as he would say, “yeah, that thing is real.” Followed by “what the hell is your name again”? 
Curls, Joey, they are curls. 
It has almost been a year since I’ve heard his voice - now hitting me harder than ever (wine induced as usual). He called me 12 times after the hurricane to make sure I was okay - meanwhile, only the local grocery store closed a few hours early. I used to have the voice-mails saved until my phone tragically fell off the fire escape. 
His laugh I can still hear but mostly I can feel his love. It’s weird, and a really sentimental (barf) thing to say but that’s what pulls me home the most. He was so proud of his legacy. 
He was a tough man and an even worse father, but the only Joey I knew was the one that would eat candy with me until our faces turned green (did I mention he wasn’t allowed to have any?) To this day he carries me, if he had another life he would give it up to see me succeed.
Now a person who’s opinion I trust explained to me the importance of blogging (does tumblr count?) especially since I plan on writing a book. I will be publishing chapters, recipes, short stories, bitchy rants, whatever they are for both practice and criticism. I’m shit at life and need help. Which is where you all come in. I’ll thank you when I make millions.